Lindsay|20|Leo
I love a good man bun.
Dear Girl, Dear Boy,
There is so much I wish to tell you about life, so much I want to tell you about Love; about Loss. You have so much growing to do, so much to experience, and I will try to do good by you. But remember, it is all just advice, and you do not have to listen to it, you can take what you want from it, but it is your life; you must choose your own horizons to follow, cut your own path. Though remember, it is alright to follow in someone else’s footsteps, they may have blazed the trail for you, and that is okay.
I want you to know that you do not need to find someone to make you whole; you are not empty. You are not missing pieces of yourself, you do not need to find parts of you in someone else . All of you is there, you just may have misplaced some things, just forgotten where they are. And that is okay. They will come back to you in time, though you may not recognize them at first, they may have grown and they may have changed. You will come to know them again.
Love changes, and changes you. Every person you love, you will love differently and for different reasons. Be okay with that. Know that in loving someone you are not giving your heart away, you are opening it up. Your heart is always yours. Always. But sometimes in opening our hearts we forget that we are vulnerable, and sometimes when people leave us, or when we choose to leave, our open hearts take time to close, and find closure. We did not fall in love immediately, do not expect your heart to heal in any other fashion.
I wish I could show you what Love looks like; and what Love does not. Love is not passive aggressive; Love is not jealousy; Love is not insulting you then trying to find the words to lift you up. Love is not a fist making an imprint of itself in the wall next to your head; Love does not grab you and shove you into the fridge. Love does not slam doors. Love does not make fun of your weight. Love does not leave bruises or handprints on your skin; Love does not keep you from your friends or family, or shame you for wanting to spend time with them. Love does not make you question your own mind. Love does not coerce you into intimacy. Love does not tell you what to wear, or what you shouldn’t. Love doesn’t make you feel unsafe in its arms. Love does not scream or shout; Love is not silent. Love is understanding, or trying to understand even when it is unsure. Love is trust, without strings attached, Love is respect without having to prove you deserve it; Love is open and opening up. Love is friendship and intimacy together; Love doesn’t care about your messy hair on a 2 day movie binge, Love will join you at the shows. Love is patience, Love is understanding, Love is honest. Love is trying, and trying it’s best even when it doesn’t know. Love gives it’s all on days you feel like you have nothing to give, and Love expects nothing in return but Love itself.
Do not always believe the words “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” There will be trials in your life you will struggle with, there will be moments your mind and body feel as if it can bare no more. And when you come out on the other side; because you surely will, you may be fractured; you may even be broken, but do not forget you are still here. YOU ARE HERE. Do whatever it takes to heal emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Remember you are only human, and to think that you will just be fine and move on after a trauma is just a bit too much to expect from one fragile human psyche. Open to someone you trust about it, allow yourself to grieve; write it out, draw it out, paint it out, sing it out if that’s what it takes. But give yourself time to heal. And remember, you may not be the same person when you emerge, and that is okay.
Forgive people, even if you feel the don’t deserve it; even if they don’t deserve it. It does not have to be today, it doesn’t have to be tomorrow, but forgive them when you are ready. Do not feel pressured to forgive someone when they say they are sorry; politely tell them thank you, but you are not ready to forgive them yet, you’ll let them know. Not forgiving can bring on contempt and hate; Do Not give someone else the power to change you. Change under your own accord. Allow yourself to move on and find a measure of peace.
Kindest Regards,
a.g.case
